


The Queen's Diary

by MagalaBee



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Dimimari, Domestic Fluff, Epistolary, F/M, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Post-War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29902686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagalaBee/pseuds/MagalaBee
Summary: From the first sparks of passion and the growing garden of their family, to the sorrows and struggles of time... the Queen of Faerghus wrote them all down in the pages of her personal journals.
Relationships: Dimimari - Relationship, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Marianne von Edmund
Kudos: 13





	The Queen's Diary

**Author's Note:**

> I can finally publish this!!! This fic was written last year for The Happiness We Knew: A Dimimari Zine.
> 
> I loved writing it, I hope you all enjoy it ;w;

**23 Red Wolf Moon, 1187**

_ Dear Diary, _

_ I haven’t written in a journal since I was a girl, it feels a bit strange to be doing so again., but today is my birthday, and King Dimitri gave you to me as a gift. It was thoughtful of him, since I have confessed that I often still find it difficult to sort through my thoughts when I’m conversing with others. At such an admission, he should have dismissed me from court and written to the Leicester council to ask for a different representative to be sent in my stead. _

_ I’m glad he didn’t, though. Even if I sometimes feel like I’m lacking in my position, I have come to truly love Fhirdiad. The city is dusted with snow this time of year, and street markets all over are full of mulled wine and the smell of gingerbread. Even though winter has come early here, it feels so warm and welcoming… Though, I suppose, most places are warm in comparison to the Edmund Estate. It is my birthday, but I don’t think the Margrave really cares that I’m gone. He was never very fond of me, growing up. _

_ Dimitri, though, had a near feast prepared for me. I didn’t think he knew when my birthday was, but he said that he remembered the date from when we were students at Garreg Mach. He told me that he recalled me spending my birthday at the monastery stables with Dorte and the other horses, a cupcake and a candle in hand. Dimitri wanted to give me a bigger celebration this time. _

_ I still feel a bit aflutter to know how much he’s thought about me. I’m sure that he is just trying to be friendly… I hope he didn’t notice how much I blushed. _

_ 5 Great Tree Moon 1188 _

_ Dear Diary, _

_ My heart feels like it’s about to burst! I fear that the Goddess is playing a trick of some sort on me, for how else could Dimitri have feelings for me? He admitted as such in private this afternoon, asking me to walk with him in the castle gardens. We started talking about agricultural trade with Leicester’s grain belt, then the conversation strayed to birds and flowers and he took my hand and told me that he wanted to court me. _

_ How nervous he looked, stammering and flushing as much as I had. Sylvain must have convinced him to tell me this, to ask for my permission to pursue my hand. It seemed like something he had practiced. I never realized Dimitri felt so strongly for me… I didn’t think anyone could. I suppose I still have progress to make in regards to my own darkness and confidence, don’t I? _

_ Maybe that is progress I can make at Dimitri’s side, for I’ve accepted him as my suitor. How could I not? You know better than any how my heart has filled with yearning since I first came to Fhirdiad. A foreign, common-born woman like myself, wouldn't be the natural choice for a king, though. He grew up with expectations and greatness in his blood, and I was only taught to read properly at the age of 14, after the Margrave adopted me. I feel like I will have so much to play catch up on if he truly wants to be with me, but… _

_ I’m willing to try. Perhaps the Goddess isn’t playing a trick on me at all, perhaps she is just offering me a new path to happiness, and I must simply be brave enough to fight for it. _

* * *

**26 Garland Moon, 1190**

_ Dearest Diary, _

_ My deepest apologies for not writing yesterday. You have been my constant companion for years now, but from here on my confidence will be shared not only with you, but with my dearest Dimitri as well. He is my husband now, and so I must grow comfortable telling him everything. _

_ The ceremony was beautiful. A royal wedding, of course, is a grand affair and people are still holding festivals in the streets of Fhirdiad, but Dimitri and I both agreed that our wedding should be as subdued as possible. There’s no reason to spend excessive money on it when Faerghus is still recovering. We invited only our closest friends and the dignitaries that would be personally slighted by exclusion. Hilda spent all day yesterday perfecting my appearance, it was why I had no spare moment to write in you. She was braiding and twisting my hair every which way then painting my face with rouge and kohl. It felt a bit strange, all that make up, but I have to admit that I did look quite lovely. _

_ We married in the Fhirdiad cathedral and Dimitri was breathtakingly handsome. He always is, of course, but he was dressed in an elegant silver waistcoat with a dark blue cravat and his hair pulled back neatly. He was every inch a vision from a fairy tale. I felt like Cinderella, the quiet, common girl marrying her prince charming. _

_ The reception lasted all night, but Dimitri and I managed to quietly sneak away from all the dancing and singing and drinking early. We left our friends to their own devices, I believe Raphael and Sylvain were organizing some kind of living chess game amongst our old schoolmates when we left, it seemed like quite the affair. But by then, Dimitri and I just wanted each other. _

_ It is the next morning now, but my cheeks are still pink just thinking about last night and how he touched me. It is completely unladylike for me to comment on such things, but I cannot help admitting that the marriage bed agrees with me. Especially with a husband like Dimitri, who is so passionate and gentle and loving. He’s still asleep at the moment, in what is now our bed. I’m sitting by the window, writing and watching him peacefully dream. _

_ Do you know what my favorite part of last night was? After it all, when we were curled up together among the blankets, falling asleep as husband and wife, he murmured in my ear: “I love you, my darling Masha.” Masha! A very Faerghus style nickname, but already such terms of endearment are shared between us. _

_ I’ve never felt so happy before, Diary. _

* * *

**17 Horsebow Moon, 1193**

_ Dear Diary, _

_ You’re the first one I’m telling this news. Yes, I’m writing this even before I whispered my news in Dorte’s ear. How far we have come, you and I. _

_ I’m with child. _

_ My hands are shaking just writing it, I am filled with such excitement and nervousness. Dimitri and I have discussed wanting children, of course, but we hadn’t been specifically trying to conceive one. The Goddess chose to bless us, though. I am going to tell Dimitri today at lunch, he’s so busy with meetings this morning and I don’t want to squeeze this news in between his stressors. It should be celebrated. _

_ I keep thinking about Dimitri holding our baby and I find my heart soft with happiness. Any fears I have pale in comparison to the excitement I feel to see Dimitri become a father. _

* * *

**29 Lone Moon, 1194**

_ My Dear Diary, _

_ Words cannot describe how beautiful and perfect he is. I can try to put on paper the little gurgles and coos he makes in my arms or the soft tufts of blond hair on his head, but I will never do them justice. His hands are so tiny, but already his grip is so strong. He must have his father’s crest, it would explain why he kicked me so fiercely all those months. Maybe it is the Crest of Blaiddyd that made pregnancy so hard? _

_ The pain was worth it, though, to now have our son in the world. Crown Prince Vasily Alexei Blaiddyd. Only one day old and already, I know I love him with all of my heart. Dimitri does too, it was obvious the moment Vasily was born. Dimitri held him first, an old tradition for Faerghus royalty, and he started crying almost immediately. He held our son like he was afraid of breaking him, Vasily looked so small in Dimitri’s arms. But my Dima cradled him close and kissed his head, tears falling down his cheek, and then he handed Vasily to me, even though I was a horrible mess from the birth. _

_ As much as I love Dimitri, and as much as I know he loves me, I’m not sure either of us will ever love anyone as much as we love our Vasily. There is something different about loving children. My heart has found new depths of happiness in his little nose and pale blue eyes. _

* * *

**21 Red Wolf Moon, 1201**

_ Diary, _

_ It is the 450th anniversary of Faerghus’s Founding, and coincidentally, also Dimitri’s 15th Jubilee year. With not one but two rather momentous milestones at hand, I’m sure you can imagine how grand the festivities have been. There have been fairs and elaborate markets all across the city for weeks, and Felix writes of the, as he put it, ‘obsessive fanaticism’ in the Fraldarius province. Everyone is celebrating with fairs and festivals. We’re hosting a grand ball as well, later tonight. I’m stealing a moment with you while I have it. _

_ The boys have begged to attend with us, but it is far past their bedtime. Vasily might be able to stay up to see the guests arrive, but Hendrick is only four, he doesn’t have a hope of staying awake to hear the ten o’clock chimes. Dimitri is tucking them in now, with promises that at the next Jubilee, they will get their own fancy waistcoats and circlets to wear with us.  _

_ I’m enjoying a moment of peace in our room, my hair all pinned up. I’m still in my dressing robe, I haven’t gotten myself sinched into my gown yet, I’m putting it off as long as I can-- yes, I’m still struggling to regain my figure after having Inessa. I’m almost forty and I’ve had three children… I fear that I look it. _

_ Yet Dimitri doesn’t seem to notice. He still sneaks up behind me and wraps his arms firmly around my waist. He still steals kisses on my neck before meetings and gets that wanting glint in his eye. I wonder what I’ve done to deserve a husband so dedicated. Royalty are usually prone to infidelity and wandering interests, it’s the nature of power and privilege. But not my Dima. No matter my stretch marks and widening hips, he still tells me I’m the most beautiful creature he’s ever known. _

_ I won’t go on too much now. I have to breastfeed Inessa once more before I strap myself into the fripperies and fops for the ball. Wish me luck, Diary, I’m still an atrocious dancer. _

* * *

**3 Verdant Rain Moon, 1223**

_ Diary, _

_ I feel such a heaviness on my chest. Since the moment I got you, I have often written pages upon pages of happy thoughts. Moments of joy and romance. There were days of frustration and fear and my ever present anxiety wearing me thin, but this is the first time I write to you in abject sorrow. _

_ This summer has been so wet and hot and miserable, and I wonder if the weather had been better, would Dimitri have recovered? Or had the injuries of war just taken their toll on his body long ago? We will never know, I suppose… I must not let the not knowing haunt me. _

_ My beloved has passed away. He contracted a lung infection and it weakened his heart. Dimitri knew he was going to leave, I think. He smiled on his last days and asked me to kiss him every chance he got. He told me that he loved me a dozen times an hour, as if I might forget, and he kept telling me things he wanted for the children. He knew he was going to go, and I think I did too.  _

_ I held his hand as he left. It is a feeling I cannot describe, to feel the life leave someone’s body. Sorrow, aching, loneliness, but just as much as it hurt, I also felt relieved. Relieved that he didn’t leave this life by himself. I was there with him, to see him off. Dimitri spent so much of his life feeling isolated and unloved, the last thing I would want for him is that he would go to the Goddess feeling the same way. I just wish that there was a way I could still talk to him, so that maybe I would not feel so alone… _

_ Maybe, dearest diary, you can become that. Would you mind? If I wrote my thoughts for him in you? _

_... _

_ My love, don’t worry about the children. They’re holding up well. Inessa cries with me, but she is embroidering a silver lion among lilies for you to be buried with. Hendrick was almost unconsolable at first, he has always been such a sensitive young man. But he is also strong and he helps to hold me up when I feel your absence heavy on my shoulders. Vasily is nervous to inherit the crown, but he is ready. He will be a father soon, too, our first grandchild is on its way, and I know he is ready because he grew up raised by you. _

_ Don’t worry about me either, my Dima. I promise that your Masha will stay strong. I cannot yet go a day without weeping for you, but I know I will be alright. I will keep living for the both of us, and keep our family close together. So wait for me, my darling, and while you do, think back on all the years we spent together. _

_ I would not trade our time together, or the happiness we knew for anything. _


End file.
